Turning back the clock – Our life before autism.

Autism has been in our life now for just over three years. Our life is now a constant whirlwind and it’s taken me a while to come to terms with it all.

So what was life like for us before autism entered and turned our life upside down?

Our first son was born in 2010 and everything was easy. Matthew was quick to talk, to learn to read and write, to walk, to toilet train etc.

I could take him shopping in town and he would hold my hand the whole time. My husband and I would take him out to eat in lots of different restaurants and he would happily sit down and eat for the whole time. He was a little delight.

I assumed that this must be because I’ve got this parent lark nailed….

So when I got pregnant for a second time, I naturally assumed that if we did the same things then our second child would be exactly the same. Matthew’s good behaviour was a result of our excellent parenting skills, right? 

5 am…1st June…our beautiful little Edward was born. After being induced at 1am he popped out bang on 5am. As soon as he was born i said ‘He’s a carbon copy of Matthew.’ They were both the same weight and had exactly the same shape face. 

In my mind it was all perfect, a brother for Matthew, close enough in age so that they could have a great relationship, be able to play together, keep each other entertained, talk about their problems together and look after each other at school. Daddy would be able to take them both out cycling for the day so that Mummy could have a day to herself for shopping and pampering.

He was such a lovely baby, we could take him out anywhere and he would either sleep or just be happy.

Looking back there were some things that I think may have been a sign that something was different. One of these times was when I took Edward to a Baby massage class. This is something that I didn’t do with Matthew but my friends had recommended it, so I thought I’d give it a whirl with Edward.

Edward and I entered the room, I sit down and lay Edward on the floor. All the other babies are lying down calmly responding to their Mummies massaging. Edward on the other hand is screeching, blowing raspberries, arching his back, turning over, farting, and then of course he wees!

Feeding was another issue….as I said before I thought that if we did the same thing as we did with Matthew then it would be fine. So when Edward was very nearly 6 months old I decided to try him on baby rice. I made it runny and tried him on it….he urged and then spewed…

Everytime I took him get weighed he would still be coming up small. He started on the 9th centile but dropped down to the 2nd centile. So they decided to refer Edward to the paediatrician. 

They wanted to find out if there were any genetic problems so they took a blood test. This was a traumatic experience for both me and Edward. I had to sit Edward on my lap whilst they tried to find a vein and he was screaming.

Fortunately there was nothing amiss genetically. It was then decided to prescribe him high calorie formula to help him gain weight. Edward was never a massive fan of milk, he would drink a bottle but he wasn’t really that bothered if he had some or not.

Fast forward to age 2. Edward was in the same fabulous nursery that Matthew was in. Matthew had come on in leaps and bounds during his time there. One thing that I particularly noticed was when Matthew moved up to the toddler room. Within a month he went from saying the odd sentence to being able to have a proper conversation with.

Whilst Matthew was in preschool, Edward moved up to the toddler room. I’m thinking ‘any day now we’ll be having full conversations with Edward.’ Weeks went by, then months…still no conversation.

Cue Edward’s 2 year review with the health visitor…she noticed that he was developmentally delayed and so referred him to the child development centre. There was a five month waiting list just to have the initial consultation with the paediatrician. Eventually we were seen and they decided to put Edward on the pre school ASD pathway.

So this was the start of autism journey. Keep following my blog for the next instalment.