4 reasons why I find autism and birthdays difficult.

Edward recently turned 10 on the 1st June and just like on all of his other birthdays I have mixed emotions. Here are 4 reasons why I find autism and birthdays difficult.

1. Edward doesn’t care

He knows it’s his birthday and he does get excited about what his presents are going to be. We actually ask him what he wants for his birthday and this year he asked for The Mario Kart Rainbow Road Hot wheels track. This little beauty turned out to be £120!

It was the only thing he asked for so we had to buy it for him, even though we knew he would only play with it for five minutes! He has since turned it into a marble run (of course!)

2. I have no ideas for presents.

Apart from the Hot Wheels track, there was nothing else that Edward asked for. We felt that we should buy him a few more bits and pieces for him to open. I went into Smyths to see what I could get. I came out with Waffle dog and some more Mario Kart Hotwheels cars and that was it. Whatever we buy for Edward, he plays with it for five minutes and then swaps it for a stick or a leaf.

3. It’s hard not to compare him with his peers

I always feel reflective in the days leading up to Edwards birthday. We are still in contact with Edward’s peers who were in foundation with him before he moved to a special school. Each year I’ve seen the gap between them grow wider and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. Of course I wouldn’t change Edward for the world because he is who he is but I do wish he would be doing some similar things to his peers.

4. I have no idea for celebrations

When Edward was Five, we had a joint birthday party for him and his little friend. Edward did love the party but when we brought the cake out and everyone started singing Happy Birthday, he screamed and ran off.

Since then we haven’t thrown a birthday party for him. His peers have still been having birthday parties but we don’t get invited to them anymore. Edward’s not upset by this though as he doesn’t really care.

This year we were planning a visit to London for Edward’s birthday but then there were train strikes so we decided not to go. We considered Legoland too which we know Edward would love. However, in May half term it would be really busy and hot. Once again Edward wasn’t really that bothered though.
In the end we decided to a 5 mile walking route around Saltash in Cornwall. The walk started at the Tamar Bridge and we walked down to Forder Creek and then back. Edward loves the Tamar bridge, especially when he sees a train going over.

Later in the evening we decided to take to van up to Cadover Bridge on Dartmoor and have a BBQ. Edward of course didn’t join in with the Hot Dogs, instead he was living his best life throwing sticks and leaves into the river.

Was Edward disappointed that we didn’t go to London or Legoland? No is the quick answer. Edward would honestly be happy if he spent all day in a field. We’ve decided that we don’t need to go on extravagant days out with Edward just because we feel we should ‘do something’ to celebrate his birthday. These big days out are hugely challenging and exhausting for us so we will just keep it simple and everyone will be happy.

Do you find autism and birthdays difficult? If so drop me a comment and let me know.